


Tome of Free Love

by dingo317



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dingo317/pseuds/dingo317
Summary: Kurotsuchi Mayuri, taichou of XII - th Division, has feelings. Isn't it true? Of course. All that remains is to turn them into high-quality erotic. Where did this idea come from? See for yourself.
Kudos: 1





	Tome of Free Love

Kurotsuchi taichou was furious like a hornet. Like a swarm of hornets. Like Soi Fon taichou.  
What?! That he's supposed to be emotionless?! And that dandy, Kyouraku taichou whispered it! Worse still, he had the nerve to apologize for! He has no feelings? Well then he will have them. He is mentally a genius! Nothing can stand in the way of perfection.  
Taichou of the Twelfth Division had a goal every day. Unlike The Goal (Become the greatest researcher of all time!), the goal was more modest. Like him. That's the goal for today - to prove your emotional superiority. Especially over Kyoraku.  
What is an expression of feelings? Come on?  
A letter?  
The problem was that taichou had no idea who to write the letter to. Nemu didn't count. She was just a tool, like a slide rule. Akon was also dropping out. You don't write letters dripping with feelings to your subordinates.  
To Yoruichi-san?  
NO.  
So what remains?  
The scientist's thought moment was concentrated in lightning-fast calculation. Books. Fiction. Yes, this is it!  
The problem is, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, in his hectic burden of duties, did not have time to write the book. The more so because a book dripping with emotions is too much, even for him. He had feelings, of course, but he wasn't going to show them for so long and so intensely. You have to know moderation, to the point!  
What's left? Some shorter form.  
A story?  
Mayuri chuckled triumphantly. This was it! He will write a love story and then send it to Kyoraku!  
Hmmm, maybe he won't. This man about town might take it as an expression of feelings for him. No no no! He will simply present his creation to the public. There should be no problem with the audience.  
Let's get to work!  
Mayuri rubbed his hands vigorously, took a blank sheet of paper from a desk drawer and his latest invention, a reiatsu pen (a drop of reiatsu and you can write for days, brilliant or at least useful!) and sat down to write.  
The beginning is the most difficult and the most important. You need to get the reader's attention. Maybe a title?  
Book of Love? Kamasutra for the Spiritually Rich? Both of us in the meadow? Where would the action actually take place?  
Well that's the point. Some shinigami Kurotsuchi did not remember once said, "The action should start with an earthquake, then the tension should rise." Then we'll get straight to the point. After all, no one cannot expect the average reader will poison himself with a dozen pages of a romance. People probably called such books Harlequins and they were not of very high caliber. No! Right to the point!  
"I touched her silky skin ..."  
Taichou stopped, despite his best efforts, experiencing a creative block. To hit his forehead in the next moment. After all, you cannot thoughtlessly duplicate someone else's ideas! The style must be original! Preferably one that no one else has used. Unique. Flowing from the heart. True, Kurotsuchi did not consider the heart to be anything more than a blood pump, but it was nice and popular and elegant. Next, this time in his own way.  
“I touched her silky skin like the fiber of an oak silkworm. Her body was hot (thirty-seven coma, three degrees Celsius, low-grade fever). We approached the breath (her smelled delicately with organic sulfur compounds), a woman's hand took my spear, rubbing it gently. Though I tried to be analytically calm, this part of my body could not lie. I spontaneously touched the hills of her breast, feeling primal lust pulsating in every square centimeter of my body ... ”.  
Lockdown again. The writer reread his work, tearing the tip of his pen into his shark smile.  
Primal lust. It's good. Come on, spontaneously!  
"... primal lust burst from every opening of my body!"  
No. Delete. And once more.  
“We hugged each other. Her breasts on my male torso. At the same time, with the movements of the pelvis, I slid my penis into her vagina. The depth of penetration, initially several centimeters, was to awaken her clitoris. Finally, with a delightful sigh, I slid the organ all the way fifteen centimeters ... "  
Correct.  
“Fifteen and a half centimeters. I felt her orgasmic platform hugging my phallus tightly. I stroked her back feeling the increase in body temperature, increase in blood pressure, dilated pupils and muscle tension ... "  
It's good. It's good!  
“I started rubbing her black pearl (point G) with the tip of the spear. I placed her carefully on our bed and began vigorous frictional movements.  
I felt her thighs hug my pelvis. Knowing that it was not enough, I started stimulating her mouth intensively with mine and my tongue. We made both high-pitched sounds of pleasure, her body reacting to my male activity.  
Exactly sixteen minutes and forty-three seconds later I felt the plateau phase go into orgasm ... "  
How can you describe it? Preferably your way!  
“An explosion of ecstasy like a stimulated volcano. We came at the same time ... "  
Mayuri taichou, as a competent scientist, knew that the phenomenon of simultaneous orgasm is very rare but whatever! Everything for the readers!  
“I fell down on her body feeling blissful and relaxed. The muscles relaxed. Subsequent physiological and mental reactions made me sure that my partner also experienced a strong fulfillment.  
I knew we would do It again in eight minutes and fifteen seconds. So far I had to rest ... "  
Kurotsuchi continued writing for a while longer. One more orgasm with a wolf's howl and an earthquake, nine on the Richter scale. Why not!  
Eventually he put down his pen and appreciated his work. Faultlessly! Originally! The audience will like it!  
Only rewrite clean and it remains to announce a public reading. First, among the shinigami of their division.  
And then the whole wide world!


End file.
